Soulless Eyes
by Kaeera
Summary: Sad. Depressing. If you don't like Davis (or Jun), go away!! Read how a terrible incident changes Jun, and her brother as well...(No Davis-bashing!)
1. Part One

Soulless_Eyes_1

> **__**   
_Not much to say about it...sad and depressing. I finally come back to my drama stories...._   
_If you hate Davis or Jun, go away!! I love Davis, he's one of my favorite characters! And I HATE Davis bashing, okay? Down with it!_   
_Like usually, Digimon doesn't belong to me....And this part is from Jun's POV, but you will notice that, I think. Hope so*sweatdrops*___
> 
> _:-P Kaeera_
>
>> > > > > > > ****
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> > ****   
**Soulless Eyes**   
  
_ by Kaeera_
> 
>   
  

> 
> I look into your eyes
> 
> These eyes which used to be so full of life
> 
> So happy
> 
> So hopeful
> 
> Now they are dead.
> 
> Eyes are the windows to your soul, they say.
> 
> They show the true feelings of a person, they say.
> 
> Not these eyes.
> 
> They are empty.
> 
> _Empty..._
> 
> That's the right word. Behind these eyes isn't a soul, isn't a heart....there's just nothing...darkness!
> 
> I watch your eyes and I can't stop crying.
> 
> I know, I never showed that I care for you. I even didn't realise on myself. You've been a nerving little brother for me. I had never the idea of telling you that I...love...you.
> 
> I didn't know that I love you, that's it.
> 
> And now I don't have the chance to say it.
> 
> Because you can't hear me.
> 
> Maybe it would be better when you had died.   
Then we all would have cried, but after a few months you get used to it and you start laughing again. It sounds hard, not?   
But when I am here and watch you...you are alive, you breath, but you don't speak.
> 
> You don't look at me.
> 
> Don't hear me.
> 
> How I wish that you yell at me...   
That you call me 'Idiot' like you did it so often.
> 
> We used to fight a lot. Our family is hot-tempered. Fighting and quarrelling is every days life. It's normal.
> 
> I said that I can't stand you and you said that you can't stand me.
> 
> That's the usual behaviour between brothers and sisters. Okay, there are some different...like Tai and Kari, for example.
> 
> Isn't it strange that you never notice how much something means to you....until you have lost it?   
Isn't it always like that?
> 
> You notice how wonderful peace is – after there has been a war.
> 
> You see how nice the sun is the shining – after it has rained for days.
> 
> You realise that you love your brother....when you can't speak to him.
> 
> The time is passing by and there's no change.
> 
> Mum and Dad are so sad. They love you – they didn't show it very often, but they do.
> 
> In our family we don't show our feelings.
> 
> I wish we did sometimes – maybe then I wouldn't feel so guilty and helpless now.
> 
> I am your big sister, but didn't protect you. Never. Everybody of us went his own way.   
We are both a little bit crazy and noisy. In fact, we have many things in common.   
Very many things.
> 
> I know that Mum and Dad miss you.
> 
> I miss you, too. I never expected that I would _miss_ you....
> 
> But I do.   

> 
> *   

> 
> When I come home from the hospital, I wish that you would be there, eating ice-cream or watching TV.   
And we would argue about soccer or other stupid things.
> 
> But the flat is always empty when I enter it.
> 
> Our parents are at work or with you in the hospital. And the flat is silent.
> 
> I can't stand this silence.
> 
> This silence isn't peaceful....it shows the absence of something important – of you.
> 
> Your body is still here, but where is your soul?
> 
> I feel so sorry for the things you've gone through. They broke you.
> 
> You are still a kid, and kids can be very strong....but they can be broken very easily, and that happened to you.   
You eyes have seen things which you shouldn't have seen – which nobody should see.
> 
> I have seen photos, and it was enough to give me nightmares.
> 
> They did terrible things to you. To an innocent child.
> 
> They destroyed these eyes. Maybe they will never laugh again.
> 
> You are there in the hospital room, and for me it is as if I would watching a big doll. A doll which looks similar to my brother Davis.
> 
> You are there, deep inside of this body.
> 
> Maybe you are a prisoner in the darkness, crying, and searching for a way out.
> 
> Or maybe you don't want to come back. I have no idea.
> 
> The pictures are hunting me, and I feel hate....hate for the people who have done such nasty things to my brother.
> 
> Hate for myself that I wasn't there to protect him like an older sister should do.
> 
> Hate for the world that it allows that such things happen.
> 
> If there's a god, how can he allow that an innocent life is destroyed?
> 
> I hate you all!
> 
> And I hate these soulless eyes.
> 
> Dead eyes.
> 
> Empty eyes.
> 
> I hate you, and I cry for you.
> 
> Do you know that I visit you every day?
> 
> No, you don't know...
> 
> I come here after school and spend the whole afternoon.
> 
> I can't do anything, but...I don't want to go home in the empty flat.
> 
> Mum and Dad aren't coming every day....I think they are a little bit afraid of you.   
They are frightened that you will stay like that for all time.
> 
> Your friends visited you, too.
> 
> They cried, but you didn't notice it.
> 
> You notice nothing. You just sit there, apathetic, while the worlds is crying around you.
> 
> People have been killed before your eyes.
> 
> And that broke you.
> 
> You had to stay over a week in a small, dirty room with the dead bodies of the people who have been captured with you.   
You have seen their eyes when they died.   
And you nearly died on your own because of the hunger – and because the terrorists beat you. Hurt you.   
They hurt you mentally and physically.
> 
> I wish we never went on this stupid holiday. then nothing of this all could have happened, and you would be still there, playing soccer, yelling, creaming and laughing.
> 
> You wouldn't lie in the hospital like a _doll._
> 
> I think Mum and Dad feel guilty that they went on this holidays.   
They think that it's their fault.
> 
> But that's wrong. It's the fault of the terrorists.
> 
> I wish them a terrible death. They earn it.   

> 
> *   

> 
> I can't cry. Not now.
> 
> There are no tears less.
> 
> I cry in the nights when I hear my mother crying in the bathroom.
> 
> It makes me mad to see their worried faces.
> 
> They worry about _you_, Davis.
> 
> Why can't you come back? We are here, we will help you.
> 
> I want to hug you and I want that you hug me back.
> 
> I wouldn't mind if you would sob into my t-shirt.
> 
> I just want to hear your voice again.
> 
> Let me help you, lil' brother.
> 
> Let me please help you to find a way out of your pain. There must be a way...and if not?
> 
> Things have become so....unimportant.
> 
> I don't care about school, about the weather....even about Matt.
> 
> I've ignored Matt....he's just not important right now. It was a stupid crush, but well, the Motomiya's are all crazy.   
You are important.
> 
> Not only for me.
> 
> You can't stay like this. You can't! It will destroy me, my parents and your friends.
> 
> No, that's not right. I shouldn't be angry with you. It's not your fault. I am sure that you want your life come back to normal.
> 
> But it's very difficult to assemble something which is broken. And it will never look like it has been before.
> 
> I am not a good sister.
> 
> I did many things which I regret now, but you can't change the past.
> 
> But the thing I regret the most is that I never said you this single sentence....short, but very important...   

> 
> _I never told you that I love you..._   

> 
> And now it might be too late...   
  
  

> 
> **To be continued.......**   
  
  
  
  
  
__
> 
> _Okay, that's the first part.. It's kinda depressing, I know*sobs*....just love to write such stories!_   
_Please give me ideas for the next parts....and if you know a better title....THEN TELL ME! This title is so stupid, but I couldn't think of anything better...I am open for any suggestions! (you can mail me as well: dragonbeing@hotmail.com)___
> 
> _And, I tell it once again, I am German and learn English only in school, so I am sorry for my mistakes!___
> 
> _Thanks for reading, and I would be really happy if you review it!___
> 
> _:) Kaeera_   
__


	2. Part Two

Soulless_Eyes_2

> __   
__ __
> 
> _Next part....I explain how it all happened(the secret is solved*music is playing*)_   
_I think I keep this title....no one has suggestions and I can't think of another. I am still of the opinion that it's stupid, but well..._   
_Thanks to all the people who reviewed the first part....your reviews are really encouraging and please don't stop it!_   
****
>
>> > > > > > > > > ****   
****   
**** ****
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> ** Soulless Eyes******
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> _ by Kaeera_

>   
  
  

> 
> I always think about how this happened...
> 
> The images are flashing to my mind when I am in your room, the hospital room...
> 
> It started so harmless.
> 
> It was a beautiful summer day when our parents told us the place we would went for holidays this summer. We both were so excited – we would fly away for the very first time in my whole life.
> 
> And the country?
> 
> Malaysia.
> 
> We spent hours in watching magazines and images with beautiful white beaches, palms, a blue sea and many exotic animals.
> 
> The first days of our holiday were just wonderful.   
Sunshine, sea and happiness – what do you expect more?
> 
> We wrote funky postcards to all our friends, telling them how great the meals are, and that we can swim in the sea while it's raining in Japan. Yeah, we watched the weather report from Japan every day, and when it said rain, we laughed gloatingly.
> 
> Then came this day.
> 
> You went on this excursion – with my parents. I stayed in the hotel – I wanted to spend my time at the beach.
> 
> Late in the evening Mum and dad came back – without you.
> 
> Mum was crying. Dad told me that you have been caught by terrorists – kidnapped! First I thought they were joking, but they weren't.   
The terrorists wanted to rebel against the government and kidnapped a bus full of terrorists. My parents weren't in this bus because they searched for a toilet.
> 
> But you.
> 
> My little brother Davis, still a child, was in this bus.
> 
> It took over a week to get him back. A week full of tears, worry and sadness.
> 
> You looked terrible when we visited you in the Malaysian hospital. Scratches and bruises all over the body. Thin with big rings under your eyes. Pale face – and big, dead eyes.
> 
> You didn't speak a single word.
> 
> It was a shock for us to see you like that. We tried to comfort you, but it didn't work.   
You ignored us, didn't notice us.
> 
> The bruises on your body healed, but not the damage in your soul.   

> 
> They showed us photos.   
And told us what you've gone through.
> 
> The terrorists hit you and gave you no food.   
They killed some of the tourists and let you stay with the corpses – for days!   
They killed them in front of your eyes.
> 
> Imagine you are a prisoner in a small dark room, with corpses of people....   
One week without seeing the sun.   
One week without food, only water.   
One week full of pain.
> 
> That would break everybody.
> 
> Even you.   

> 
> *   

> 
> So many people are crying for you.   
Your friends.   
Your parents.
> 
> Me.
> 
> And the time is passing by.
> 
> I feel empty. There are no feelings left. When did I laugh the last time?   
I can't remember.
> 
> Every time when I see someone laughing I have to think of your laughter.   
I have to think about how you laughed about me when I used make-up for the first time.   
I was so mad about you and chased you through the whole flat.
> 
> What can I do to help you?
> 
> Is there no way?
> 
> Do I have to accept that you are....dead?
> 
> I can't accept, no, I can't.
> 
> We Motomiya's aren't used to that. We always _do_ something. We find our own way.   
And we never give up.   
I'm the best example, not? Hey, I chased after Matt over half a year, and I would run after him right now if there wouldn't be something more important.
> 
> But your soulless eyes prevent me from doing that.
> 
> Davis, please come back. We don't want to loose you.   
  

> 
> "I would give everything to hear a stupid and brainless joke from him...."
> 
> This is the sentence your friend said with tears in her eyes when she visited you. Kari. Kari and her brother Tai.   
Perfect brother and sister – perfect family. Really, they are. They all love each other and show it. And they are so mature in one way...especially Kari.   
In our family is nobody mature, not even my parents. We are all crazy, stupid, hot-tempered and happy. We've _been_ happy! Now everybody is crying...
> 
> Crying faces – I only see sad and worried faces, all around me.   
Sometimes I have to stifle a hysterical giggle then. I know, when I start giggling, I won't be able to stop.
> 
> Maybe you don't want to come back....Maybe you think that we don't need you, don't care for you.   
I know I have been a nasty sister, and our parents aren't perfect, too.   
But we love each other.   
I need you. And that's true.
> 
> I need someone who fights with me about useless things.
> 
> I need someone who eats all the cookies away which I have bought from my pocket money.
> 
> I need someone who comes home from soccer practise and puts his dirty t-shirt on my new, white pullover.
> 
> I need someone who makes noises when I am learning.
> 
> I need someone who is nerving me.
> 
> I need you. Mum and Dad need you.
> 
> Need you more than all things in this world.   
  

> 
> I remember many things. For example our last big fight – about once a week we always have a real big fight, with door slamming, screaming and all things which belong to.   
You wanted to watch a soccer game – I wanted to watch a talkshow.
> 
> And I had the remote control...
> 
> In the end we damaged it and had to watch a stupid documentary all the evening.
> 
> I remember that I wished you to hell.
> 
> Now I regret it. Maybe it was because of my wish that you are a...doll...now.
> 
> A body without soul.
> 
> Eyes without a heart.
> 
> Where are you, lil'brother?
> 
> Just tell me – I will come immediately to help you.
> 
> Jun will be there.
> 
> Move your hands, give me a sign that you can understand me!   
Look at me, look into my eyes!   
Talk with me, call me stupid!
> 
> Let me know that you are still alive....somewhere, somehow!
> 
> You have to be alive...not this so-called life.   

> 
> *   

> 
> They make lots of therapies with you. There is a special doctor, only for you.
> 
> Do you understand? You have a doctor on your own!
> 
> She told us that we should talk with you...hold your hands or so.
> 
> I try it, but I think it's stupid. I never hold your hand in my whole life, so why now?   
Maybe that will scare you away.
> 
> And talking with you?
> 
> About what?
> 
> Shall I sit there and say: "Davis, the weather is wonderful, you are missing many things, and , by the way, your soccer team lost the last game?"
> 
> The only things we used to talk about were easy enough:
> 
> "What will we eat for dinner?"
> 
> "Get out of my room!"
> 
> "Stop it!"
> 
> "Davis!!!!"
> 
> "You will be too late!"
> 
> The five most used sentences any family members said to him.   
Okay, the 'Get out of my room' was mostly my part.
> 
> The doctor talks with you, Davis. She shows you pictures.   
Pictures of you playing soccer.   
Pictures of Mum, Dad and me.   
Pictures of our school.   
And pictures of the dead bodies.
> 
> Mum was shocked that she shows you this kind of pictures – in her opinion it only will make it worse than it is.   
But I agree with the doctor. When you ever come back, you'll have to live with this memory. You can't ignore it, so you have to accept it.
> 
> You have to be strong.
> 
> You are strong, aren't you? I know it. You are brave and have a big heart. But will you be strong enough for this?   
I have read some books since this "accident" happened. Some kids kill themselves because they can't live with the pain, with the images which are hunting them.
> 
> You won't kill yourself, not?
> 
> You never thought of suicide, and when you heard of someone who did it, you shook your head and couldn't understand.   
For you the life was too precious to throw it away.   
For me, too.
> 
> You enjoyed every single minute, you really_ lived_ with full heart.
> 
> Isn't it unfair that such a person has this destiny? That life has been _stolen_ from him?   
You can't call this life, not?   
I think it has been stolen, because I know that you would _never_ give away your life.   
We give never up!
> 
> Watch Mum and Dad, they are nearly broken, but they don't give up, too.   
They hope, and they will never stop hoping.
> 
> I know that my thoughts are circling around. I think about the same things again and again.   
I just need something which gives me hope, and the belief in the strong will of a Motomiya is such a thing.
> 
> But sometimes even Motomiya's aren't strong enough.....   
  
  

> 
> **To be continued....**   
****   
**** **__**
> 
> _Again, very sad....my poor Davis, will he ever laugh again??_   
_By the way, do you remember that terrorists kidnapped some tourists in Malaysia? That's where I got this idea....I had to search for a reason that Davis is like that...._   
_It doesn't happen much in this part, only Jun thinking again. I love writing her when she is serious!(never expected that...)___
> 
> _Thanks for reading, and feel free to give me any suggestions, okay? - And review ;-)_   
  
__Kaeera   



	3. Part Three

Soulless_Eyes_3

> __ __
> 
> _Only a short part, I am sorry. Digimon doesn't belong to me. If you have any comments, suggestions or requests you can mail me every time._   
__   
__   
__   
__
>
>> > > > > > > > > **Soulless Eyes**__
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> _ by Kaeera_
> 
> __   
__   
__   
__   
__ __
> 
> _Why is it so dark?___
> 
> _I don't want to go away.___
> 
> _They are hunting me. Every time when I try to get out of here, they come back.___
> 
> _The pain.___
> 
> _The pictures.___
> 
> _The screams.___
> 
> _But when I stay here, they let me in peace.___
> 
> _So I stay.___
> 
> _It's cold and lonely.___
> 
> _Sometimes the pain catches me here, too. Then I close my eyes and yell, yell with all me might. But no sound comes out of my lips.___
> 
> _I see the images and the only thing I want is to forget them.___
> 
> _Forget.___
> 
> _Forget and the pain can't reach you.___
> 
> _Forget...._   

> 
> *   

> 
> Is this really you?
> 
> I can't believe it.
> 
> I just can't.
> 
> I never thought that you could look so...broken. Empty. _Dead._
> 
> Can you hear me? It's me, your friend.TK.
> 
> Do you remember me?
> 
> It's afternoon and we are visiting you again. We, that means Ken, Kari and me. Cody has Kendo practise and Yolei has to help in the shop.
> 
> And we just sit there, silent, everybody reflecting his own thoughts.
> 
> We are all afraid that you will stay like this. You can't!
> 
> Long ago someone told me that people can hear your thoughts when you think only mighty enough. That's what I do right now. Maybe these unspoken words will reach you, somehow...It's stupid, I know, but it gives me hope.
> 
> You don't notice the things which happen around you, do you?
> 
> For example Jun. She visits you every day. I never expected that – I always thought that you hate her, and she hates you.   
But I was wrong.
> 
> She loves you, Davis.
> 
> And she cries for you.
> 
> She looks so sad and worried. That's....unusual.
> 
> It's as unusual as a silent Davis.
> 
> A Davis who stares through you with dead eyes.
> 
> Eyes without a soul.
> 
> Without life.
> 
> We have been told about what happened to you. It's horrible. This are the things you see on tv, but never expect that they will every happen to someone you know.   
It's just too terrible than it should happen.
> 
> But it did, and the result is you.
> 
> Will you stay like this?
> 
> Imagine that....never again see you laughing.
> 
> Never again talk with you about Digimon.
> 
> I don't want to give up hope that there is a way for you....that you are strong enough to fight through this.
> 
> If not for you, then do it for your parents.
> 
> For your sister.
> 
> And for us.   

> 
> *****
> 
> **~ Jun ~**   

> 
> Therapy again. Every day they carry you away in this special room.
> 
> The room with colourful walls. Oh, it looks nice there. Many toys and such stuff. A place for children. Even a soccer ball is there. Perfect.
> 
> The only not perfect things is the doll who sits on a chair in the middle of this room.
> 
> You.
> 
> I have to come with you this time. The doctor says it's better this way.
> 
> She is talking to you. With a soft and nice voice.   
A warm voice.
> 
> Definitely no Motomiya voice. Motomiya's never talk soft and warm. They cry, yell, scream, mumble....they are loud.   
Maybe you missed that. I never did, I was lucky with my mad family.
> 
> She tells me that I shall to you, too.
> 
> I ask her about what, and she just says:
> 
> "About things he likes. Try to get his attention. You have wake him up."
> 
> About things he likes? Soccer?   
What can I say about soccer?
> 
> My voice is cracking when I start talking. And I notice that it is the first time – the very first time – in my whole life that I talk serious with you.   
I don't giggle, scream, yell or laugh.
> 
> Just talk.
> 
> Once started, I can't stop. I talk about how I miss you. How we all miss you.   
I tell you that my marks get worse and worse in school because I don't pay attention to the teachers.   
Tell you that Matt doesn't interest me anymore.   
Tell you that our aunt from Europe came to visit you.   
The tears are streaming down my cheeks, but I don't mind.
> 
> I just tell the things which are in my head for so long.
> 
> Maybe they will reach you, wherever you are. I hope so.
> 
> You don't give me the impression that you listen to me. But then I realise that I don't talk for you – I talk for me. I feel better when I tell the things which worry me.   
Even if you can't answer.   

> 
> *   

> 
> _Sometimes voices reach me here in my safe place.___
> 
> _I try not to listen to them. They want to bring me back.___
> 
> _But I have to go through the pain when I follow them.___
> 
> _I have forgotten the images.___
> 
> _Sometimes I see a picture – like a flashback. Pictures without pain. Pictures of people who laugh.___
> 
> _But they aren't worth enough to leave my place.___
> 
> _I experienced this once, I don't wanna a second time.___
> 
> _I know what fear is. And, I can tell you: it's horrible.___
> 
> _Fear destroys you.___
> 
> _It's like a big black shadow which darkens your soul.___
> 
> _But I tricked the fear. It can't reach me here!___
> 
> _I am safe!_   

> 
> *   

> 
> "What do you mean, we can't take him home??", my mother yells frustrated.
> 
> "It is better for him when he stays in the hospital.", the doctor says.
> 
> I just sit between them and listen to the conversation. My parents want to take Davis home, because they think he will recover sooner when he is in a place he knows.
> 
> "But why?", my father asks softly.
> 
> "Because he is too fragile to let him out of the hospital. He needs continuing care.   
When we make some improvements in therapy, we can talk about this. But not now."
> 
> My father buries his face in his hands. "And when...when will there be an improvement?"
> 
> The doctor shakes her head: "I'm sorry, but I don't know. It depends on your son. We can only help him, he has to do the main part on his own. We can just hope that he is strong enough!"
> 
> With these words she leaves our table in the cantina. I look down on my plat with something undefinable on it – which is supposed to be my diner.   
I feel sick. Not only because of the food, but because of what the doctor said.   
"I don't know..."   
She doesn't know if her therapy will help? I mean, she is the doc, isn't she?   
She should tell us things like "Don't be afraid, two more weeks and Davis will be the same like before."   
I know that I am unfair. It isn't that easy. When we, the family, didn't manage to wake him up of his apathy, how shall a stranger be able to do this?
> 
> It's just wearing me down.
> 
> And I know that it will take a very long tome to bring back the old Davis.   
  
****   
****   
**** ****
> 
> **To be continued....**   
****   
**** ****
> 
> _Now I included Davis a little....I think I will make some improvements in the next parts._   
_I don't know when I will be able to write them.... we are moving soon to our new house, an we won't have internet for some time then :-(_   
_So please don't hate me when the last parts take longer!___
> 
> _Thanks for reading!___
> 
> _Kaeera_   
****   
__   
  
  
  



	4. Part Four

Soulless_Eyes_4

> _Okay, I decided to write the next part as fast as possible. Because I won't be able to go on the internet for the next months :-(_   
_I loved to write this story, I hope you love to read it._   
_And please review, you make me really happy with it!_
>
>> > > > > > > > > ****   
****   
****   
**** ****
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> **Soulless Eyes******
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> _ by Kaeera_
> 
>   
  
__   
__ __
> 
> _The voices....they are following me. I can hear people cry._
> 
> "Davis, please show me that you are there."__
> 
> _I am here. How shall I show this?_
> 
> "Speak with me! Call me stupid, I don't mind, if I only can hear your voice again."__
> 
> _Can't you understand? I have to go through the black wall when I want to speak. The wall full of pain, full of the memories I want to forget._   
_No, you can't understand this._   
_Have you seen the images I have seen?_   
_Have you felt the pain I have felt?_   
_Have you had the fear I have had?_   
_No, you haven't._
> 
> "You have to be strong."__
> 
> _I shall be strong?_   
_I'm not strong. No, I am not. I feel like a helpless baby._
> 
> "Don't you remember me?"
> 
> _Who?_
> 
> "It's me, your sister."
> 
> _My sister?___
> 
> _I won't listen. I want to forget. I WANT TO FORGET!_
> 
> "I miss you."
> 
> ........
> 
> "We all miss you."
> 
> _Me?_
> 
> "Mum and Dad miss you?"
> 
> _Mum?.....Dad?_
> 
> "Your friends miss you."
> 
> _Friends?_
> 
> "I miss you. And I need you."__
> 
> _You....miss me?_   
_So there are people – on the other side of the wall – who miss me?_   
_Who love me?___
> 
> _I forgot that.___
> 
> _Maybe...maybe I should try to reach them.___
> 
> _Slowly, I put my hand on the 'wall'. For the first time I touch my prison.___
> 
> _The pain catches me immediately.___
> 
> _I'm again in this room. Small and dark, I can only see shadows. But I know that they are there. I see the form of their bodies. Of their dead bodies._   
_I remember their names. Tony, a young man of the age 25. His wife Alexandra. They were in the same bus. Until the terrorists caught us._   
_This is one of the things I want to forget._   
_Tony's body fell limp to the ground. Alexandra cried and kneeled down at him, but she didn't cry for a long time. She was shot, too._   
_Then the two men took photos and left the prison._   
_I only remember that I stared at the tow bodies. For minutes, hours....days?_   
_The eyes. Dead Eyes. Blood everywhere._   
_And the fear that the same could happen to me._   
_I didn't have enough tears to cry._   
_I just stared._   
_Even when they started to beat me, I didn't cry._   
_I didn't say anything._   
_I felt the salty bitter taste of blood in my mouth._   
_I saw the blood on my arms._   
_I was too weak to stand up – of hunger and of pain._   
_I tried close my soul deep inside of, the only thing which was left for me._   
_The only thing they couldn't reach._   
_And now I can't go out of my self-made prison.....>>_   
__   

> 
> *   
  
  

> 
> I'm here, lil'brother.
> 
> Again.
> 
> Do you know what day it is?
> 
> It's your birthday.
> 
> You are twelve years old. And you don't notice it.
> 
> This is the saddest birthday in my whole life. Usually we make a big party with masses of sweets and cakes. Then many people fill the small rooms of our flat. It's loud and the neighbours are angry about the noise.
> 
> No noise is here.
> 
> Nothing.
> 
> Just your eyes – these eyes which are scaring me like hell.
> 
> I noticed that I am frightened of looking directly into them. I am frightened of looking into your eyes? Shocking, but unfortunately the truth.   
Do you remember when we always made 'Staring Duels' when we've been little?   
I was always the winner – because after a minute other things caught your attention and you looked away. Every time when you lost again, you've been so angry!   
I enjoyed it to watch your face then.   
Now, with these eyes you would win every Duel.
> 
> Five Weeks.
> 
> Five damn long weeks.
> 
> In this time I noticed that I really love my family.
> 
> I watch my parents through different eyes now. Of course, I am still the rebellious teenager. And I am still a Motomiya, which means that I am noisy, hot-tempered, pigheaded, happy and a little bit crazy(only a little?).   
But this whole mess brought out a new side of me.   
A more serious one.
> 
> A Jun who thinks a lot. Nearly philosophical (Hey, who would mention the word 'philosophy' and Jun in one sentence?).
> 
> A Jun who cares about her brother.
> 
> Does Davis care for me? I think so. He will never show it, of course.   
He would never show it.
> 
> Do you know what the Doc told me yesterday?
> 
> If there's no improvement during the next week, you will die.
> 
> Die.
> 
> You will slowly become weaker and thinner, although you are feed by the nurses every day.   
And then, the last bit of your soul will leave your body.
> 
> I don't want to visit your tombstone, Davis.
> 
> I don't want to cry because you are an angel – somewhere.
> 
> You can't do that to me. We Motomiya's never give up! NEVER!
> 
> I'm not allowing you to go.
> 
> I squeeze your hand very hard. I want to keep my little brother.
> 
> And while the tears are streaming down my face, I yell the first words which come into my mind, without thinking.
> 
> "DAVIS YOU ARE SUCH A COWARD!", I start to sob, but that doesn't makes my voice softer. "What do you think, hey, leaving us like this! I bet you are just too frightened to fight! Hell, Davis, you are a fighter, you are a Motomyia....YOU ARE MY BROTHER!", my voice is cracking, "If you give up, you don't act like the Davis I know – you act like a looser!!!"
> 
> I know that I am very unfair, but I can't stop myself. Nobody can stop me when I am in rage.
> 
> 'You have to be careful with him', the Doc said.
> 
> 'Talk softly and calmly', she said.
> 
> 'Show him that you care for him', she said.
> 
> 'Show him that you love him', she said.
> 
> BANG! I slap his face, with all the power I have.
> 
> I look down on my red and hand, and notice that his cheek is becoming very red, too.   
Slowly I realise what I have done. I have hit my brother! Of course, I hit him often, but not when he is ill! Am I mad? I made it all worse! I am so stupid!
> 
> I AM SO STUPID!   

> 
> *   

> 
> You are a coward!__
> 
> _Me? Why?_   
_Who's calling me a coward?___
> 
> _I'm strong, I have always been...___
> 
> _But there's always a first time.___
> 
> _I hate it to be a coward._
> 
> You are a fighter!
> 
> _Fighter?_
> 
> You are my brother!
> 
> _Jun?_
> 
> _I can hear you.___
> 
> _Jun, I am frightened.___
> 
> _Can't you make the pain away?___
> 
> _Why am I so alone? Why has it to be so cold and dark_?
> 
> I'm here, Davis.
> 
> _Jun!_
> 
> Let me help you.
> 
> _Help me....help me to flee my prison._   
_I wanted to forget, but I couldn't._
> 
> To forget isn't the right way.
> 
> _But I can't live with the memories. They break me! They destroy me!_
> 
> You have to deal with them. But you are not alone. Have faith!
> 
> _What do you mean with that?_
> 
> We all will help you through your pain. You only have to give us an opportunity.
> 
> _Who exactly is 'We all'?_
> 
> Mom and Dad. Me, your sister. Your friends. TK Kari, Yolei, Ken, Cody, Tai.....   
Do you remember them?
> 
> _Only some unclear pictures..._
> 
> We all support you. We miss you. We want that you come back.
> 
> _Really?_
> 
> Yes.__
> 
> _Why?_
> 
> Because we love you.
> 
> _But I am too frightened. I'm afraid that I can't deal with it. No, I know that I can't deal with it!_
> 
> You can.
> 
> _How do you know?_
> 
> Because you are strong.
> 
> _Only some seconds before you called me a coward...._
> 
> Well, you know my temper.
> 
> _Yeah, I do...._
> 
> You see? You are already joking a bit. You are strong, trust me.
> 
> _I don't know....you really think I can manage it??_
> 
> 100%__
> 
> _Then maybe I should try it...._
> 
> I'm sure you will make it.__
> 
> _What makes you so sure?_
> 
> You are a Motomiya.
> 
> _....?_
> 
> And I am your big sister. I know everything.
> 
> _Okay, okay, that explains everything....Jun?_
> 
> Yes?
> 
> _A last question..._
> 
> Hurry.
> 
> _How can you reach me? I mean, am I dreaming or how...I am deep in my body..._
> 
> It's sort of a...dream. Strong wishes can bring out miracles. And, of course, the most important thing....
> 
> _What?_
> 
> I am a Motomiya, too.   

> 
> *   

> 
> "I am so sorry, Dai.", I whisper and look ashamed down on my hands. "I hate my hot temper!"
> 
> I feel so miserable. What shall I tell Mum and Dad?
> 
> I probably destroyed the last piece of hope we have had. Then I hear a noise.
> 
> Davis.
> 
> I can't believe it.
> 
> Lil'brother....was that you who moved his head?
> 
> It was you!
> 
> You turn your head and I see your eyes.
> 
> For the first time for five weeks these eyes aren't dead.
> 
> No, there is a soul inside! The soul of Davis, my brother!   

> 
> I feel tears in my eyes, but this time they are tears of joy. "Davis....", I say with trembling voice. I can't believe it....that must be a dream....
> 
> "DAVIS!!", I yell and throw my arms around your neck!
> 
> I'm crying, but I can hear his soft voice in my ear.
> 
> "Jun?"   
  
  

> 
> **The End (Until I have the time to write the Epilogue)**   
****   
****   
**** **__**
> 
> _Okay, Okay, the end is a bit lousy(okay, very lousy) but I am in a hurry._   
_I will write an epilogue for this, but I didn't want you to wait so long for a Happy end.*Isn't Kaeera nice to her readers*...._   
_Okay, I am writing rubbish, just don't listen._   
_Maybe you can give me some ideas for my epilogue? TELL ME!_   
_And, if you liked it, you can read some of my other stories...please? For those who love sad Davis stories with Happy End, I have 'Nameless'. *sighs* I bore you, I know.___
> 
> _Like always, thanks for reading, and please review!_   
__ __
> 
> _Kaeera_   
__   
__   


  



	5. Epilogue

Soulless_Eyes_Epil

> ****
> 
> **-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**   
****   
**** ****
> 
> **Kaeera:** *_types hysterically on her keyboard*_   
**Kaeera's Dad:** "What are you doing there? We move away today and you sit in front of the screen and....write _*angry face*"_   
**Kaeera***_hastily_*: "Sorry....just have to finish this....I promised!"   
**Dad ***_glances on the screen_*: "Digimon? This is a kid's show! Daughter, how old are you?"   
**Kaeera ***_coughs_*: "Ehm.....16?"   
**Dad** *_mutters something*_   
**Kaeera***_big puppy eyes_*: "Please?"   
**Men**: "Sorry" *_put the table and carry it out of the flat*_   
**Dad:** "We are moving, and you should help a little too.._.*watches his daughter who ignores him and continues to write the epilogue*_   
**Kaeera:** "Yes....this will be good....just love Davis *_giggles*_   
**Dad***_sighs and walks away, totally frustrated about such a daughter*_   
**Men:** *_come in and put the cupboard away*_   
**Kaeera** _*talks to herself_*: "Okay, and now the disclaimer: Digimon doesn't belong to me *_sighs_* Why not???"   
**Man with blue trousers:** "Sorry, Miss, can we put away the computer?"   
**Kaeera***_shocked*_: You can't take it away – not now....I have to finish!"   
**Mom***_stressed*_: "Young Miss, you will switch off the computer NOW!"   
**Kaeera:** "NO!"   
****Mom: _*___walks in and switches 'Off'*   
**Kaeera***_yells_*: MOM! I didn't save it....you...*_takes a deep breath_* YOU DELETED MY EPILOGUE!!!!*_starts sobbing*_   
**Mom:***_shakes her head and leaves the room*_   
****Men:_*___carry the computer away*   
"MY COMPUTER! MY STORIES!"
> 
> _This are the things which can happen to you when you move away...But now, we live in our new house and it's GREAT, the only bad thing is that we don't have Internet*snirfl* But maybe I can upload it in school so that you'll be able to read my epilogue. Hope you like it! And, when you have any comments or requests feel free to mail me under **dragonbeing@hotmail.com.**___
> 
> _Now,Enjoy the story!_   

> 
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
__   

>
>> > > > > > > > > ****
> 
> ****
> 
> **Soulless Eyes******
> 
> ****   
** Epilogue**   
**** ****
> 
> _ by Kaeera_

  
  
  


Our Life didn't come back to normal, if you thought that.   
In stories, there's always a happy end. Everybody is lucky.   
But life is different. It never ends – and Happy Ends are rare. So this time, too.

Okay, Davis talks with us, and makes some stupid jokes, but he isn't the same.   
There is something in his eyes which will never disappear, which will follow him his whole life.

I've never seen him so...weak.   
So frightened.

And lonely. Lost!   
When he sits in his big, white hospital bed he seems to be so small. Like the little child he is. Small with big eyes, sad eyes.

It will take a long time until he will be healed totally, the doctor said. Maybe two or three years, probably more.

He started speaking, but that was only the first step. And he needs our help more than ever.

They finally let him go, now he lives with us in our flat. He isn't allowed to go to school yet(well, he isn't very unhappy about this; some things never change), so he stays home in the morning.   
Mum or Dad are always with him. A caring Motomiya?   
Never expected that, but now, when I watch my parents, I notice how deep their love for us is. And it makes me lucky to know that my parents love me so much.

Things seem to be so normal when we have breakfast in the morning. Davis is yet very silent, but sometimes he begins to talk, or he fights with me and we both enjoy it.   
These are the moments I believe that all the things didn't happen – that these five weeks full of sadness and sorrow are only a bad dream.   
That my brother is still the brainless jerk, the kid, the soccer player...

But then, every night, I realise that it wasn't a dream.

Every night Davis wakes up, crying and sobbing, afraid of things only he can see.   
It's always very difficult to calm him down, he is so frightened that he doesn't recognise us. So we decided that he'll stay in my room until it's better.

And every night when he has his nightmares, I crawl to him and whisper to his ear that everything will be fine....that he isn't alone, and that I will help him.

It breaks my heart how he clings to my body, trembling of fear and sobbing in my t-shirt.   
And you whisper with soft, cracking voice: "Please, Jun, make this nightmare go away! They are hunting me, everywhere, everytime. Jun, I'm afraid of it!" I just hug you, because I don't know what to say. How shall I help you?   
I can't go into your head and make the nightmares away. That's a thing you have to do on your own. the only thing I can do is to be there for you when you wake up in the darkness. To show you that you aren't alone.

Poor, poor Davis, what have they done to you that you cry in front of me, your big sister.

You wouldn't have shown me your tears before this whole mess, never!

You've been too proud.

I'm proud, too. I was too proud – I never wanted to realise that I love my brother. Hey, you've never been very nice to me, so there was no reason for loving you....   
I did it somehow, and you as well.   
  
  


*   
  


The time heals all wounds.

The nightmares still follow you, and I have to be there for you.

But during the day things are back to normal. We watch tv, make lunch, we quarrel with our parents or do other useless things.   
You go away with your friends or play soccer. Such things which I missed so much.

But one things will never come back to normal.

Our relationship.

Since I know how important you are for me, I care more for you. I watch after you, like a worried mother.

And you, you tell me your problems. We can talk seriously with each other, a totally new experience. I never missed it, but now I am happy about it.

You didn't thank me. You just hugged me, but that was enough. There are things which can't be said in words.   
And we both know it.   
  


*   
  


When you came back to school, they made a big party for you. Your whole class didn't have school because of you.   
After this day you asked me why all these people would be so happy that you are back.   
I just laughed, and answered that that's one of the reasons. You didn't understand it and wanted to know what I meant, but I just smiled and stayed silent. Your innocence and well, stupidness is one reason.

I was so proud of you, lil'brother when I noticed how many people celebrated his 'comeback'. So many friends, and they all like you so much.   
I'm proud that I have such a brother.   
A brother who can be as nerving and stupid as a fly.   
But although a brother who can make you laughing, who is so innocent and yet so intelligent in his very own way. My brother. My brother with the big heart.   
My brother the Motomiya who managed it to live through such a horrible time.

Of course I would never, NEVER, tell you that! I mean, I am Jun, what will the people think when I act in this way around you?   
They think that poor Jun has become mad and they will call for the white man who carry me away....   
Just joking.   
But well, I am a Motomiya, you are a Motomiya.

And you and I, we know what that means, not?

It means being hot-tempered, crazy, stupid, pigheaded, noisy, mostly happy and it means enjoying the life with every second.

Nope, there's no end. Life never ends, how I said. You would never expect such a philosophical sentence of Jun, would you?   
It isn't exactly of me. Someone different mentioned it before, but I forgot the name.

This whole episode changed us a lot.   
But it made us stronger, too. How I said, Motomiya's are strong, and we don't give up that easily.   
So be prepared – I am still Jun. And Davis is still Davis.   


We have both learned the seriousness, and we have both tasted the bitter side of life. But that doesn't mean that we stay serious. The people who take their life too serious are so booooring, and we don't want to be boring, no, we don't. Definitely not!

It's hard, it's much more harder to be happy than to be serious.

But...Imagine...A Jun who is serious? A Davis who thinks before acting?

Yeah. There's an image we have to keep!   
Well, now I have to go...you know, there is this concert of Matt...hmmmm....*giggles*   
  


And the Life does never stop.   
  
  


THE END   
  
  
  


_It's a relatively short epilogue, I know, but I thought that it would destroy the story when I write more details and so on._   
_Did you like it? Please let me know and REVIEW!!! Thanks ;-)___

_Kaeera_   
  



End file.
